day one

I can't believe this. we argued again that night.
we argued more often these days. and I can't take his selfishness anymore. I cried myself out, alone. I wish Mas Rengga would come and calm me down. He's my cuz. He knows how to support us. I really needed him.
suddenly, someone knocked on my door. I looked at my watch. 12.31 am. he got guts visiting me in the middle of night. when I opened the door, that guy smile to me.
"Gue lagi liburan nih dek. gue denger lo lagi di Jogja terus nginep disini, jadi gue samperin deh. lo sendirian kan?"
OH MY GOD. IT'S MAS RENGGA!
instead of answering his question, i hugged him and cried even louder, "Gue gak kuat kayak gini mas"


"You can't just let yourself alone like this, de. crying while your drunken boyfriend having a wild night and banging another chicks..", said Mas Rengga, after I told him everything that had just happened.
"So what I gotta do?" I asked.
"Ya lo enaknya gimana?"
"Gue gak mau jadi bahan percobaan kayak kelinci. gue aja gak pernah menzalimi kelinci gue!"
"Gue ngerti, de. makanya lo tuh kalo udah sayang sama orang jadi keliatan tolol tau?"
"Ha?"
"Ya lo seakan-akan rela ngalah, dan jadi sesuatu yang bukan diri lo just to keep him to yourself!"
"Gue cuma berusaha buat sabar mas.."
"So, he gotta know that everyone has their limit of patience. Kalo buat ngasih pelajaran ke dia tentang sakitnya di giniin, you could do better de. you're smart, you're cute, you're..expensive! you can even move on easily after you break up with him. that's only if you will.."
"I don't know if I could do that"
"yeah. and HE KNOWS IT. SO HE ABUSES EVERYTHING IN YOUR TRUST!" mas Rengga teriak di depan muka gue, lalu mundurin badannya lagi, "look, De, gue gak bermaksud manas-manasin lo. tapi gue berusaha ngebuat lo lebih open-minded. kalo dia bilang dia sayang sama lo, dia harus ngejalanin apa yang ada. bukannya nyari sensasi dengan nyari masalah yang gak perlu. kalo lo gak ada masalah kayak gini, gue rasa hubungan lo berdua bakal jadi hubungan paling cool"
"....jadi gimana dong mas"
"sekarang gini deh. fakta yang bagus saat ini adalah: nyokap lo gak disini, dan gue disini"
"So?"
"So, the party's just getting started"


and we partied all night long. we went to his friend's--Hera place and played twister. Mas Rengga was drunk, and i kept laughing at his funny face. We sleptover at Hera's. in the next morning, Mas Rengga said, "aku ra karep minum meneh, eper (gue gak mau minum lagi, ever)".