desease

saturday, september 27th,
I was bringing my suitcase down from upstairs. I played on my computer, as usual. nothing went wrong. not yet. 10 o'clock, i felt so thirsty. so i opened a can of coke. my very first can that day. after i drank 4 cans yesterday. nothing went wrong. not yet. view minutes later, my throat was itchy, like there's oil inside my throat. so i cough. but that itchy feeling didn't go. I ran into my bathroom and spit. blood spurted. a red, red blood. i spit again. blood spurted again. i kept spitting. but blood keep spurting, too. I was getting scared. I called my mom. I told her that i'd just had a blood cough. I was pretty sure it was because of coke i drank. I didn't think anything about my lungs. one thing that i really care was my kidney. mom was so panic. I tried to not panic. i called Vito and told him what's happening.

(my maid took this photo to compare the blood color with normal blood color)

Mom brought me to hospital and we went to emergency room. blood spurted again, this time not only from my throat, also my nose. but doctor said it's just a nosebleed. then the doctor checked on me and took my blood to test it in laboratory. I had to do rontgen, too. from the results, doctor said i got a TBC (tuberculosis). but, just to make sure, he gave a mantuk injection on my right hand. DESS....... it.was.so.painful.i.swear.

the next day, i came to see him again. he looked at my mantuk injection. then he looked at my mom. then, me.
"by the result of mantuk injection and rontgen photos, we'd sorry to say that you're positive", he said, "you have a TBC". then he walked to his desk and back with my rontgen photos. "you see this white shadow?" he firmly pointed a white shadow in that photo with his fat finger.
I nodded. "This is one of a sign that you have TBC"

I kept my mouth shut. my mom didn't say anything at all. but i know, deep inside, she's sad. on the way home, she sadly told me to stop smoking, and drinking cokes. I was too busy with my mind that time. a day ago, i was just an ordinary girl, without any serious desease. i never had any desease before, so this is kinda shocking me. TBC isn't so deathly either. it's a usual desease. I just need to be discipline and take the pills routinely. BUT WHY DOES THIS STUPID DESEASE COME WHEN I'M HAVING THE GREATEST TIME??
I was so ready to go to Jogja.
I was just going to meet Vito at Lebaran Day (and Lebaran Day was getting closer).
I was going to start my art course.
I was so excited to meet my cousins --which is a once-in-a-lifetime thing because i never get along with them so far, at Lebaran Day.
AND NOW I'M SEALED WITH MY LUNGS THAT I CAN'T HAVE A CLOSE CONTACT WITH MY FRIENDS, FAMILIES, AND MY BOYFRIEND? yeah, tbc is not deathly, but in 3 months, you can't do a close contact with people around you. they might get a TBC because of you. oh, fuck. i also gotta be patient to not have a close contact with vito, physically. yeah, if you know what i mean -_-.
i just don't understand. why couldn't I notice it earlier? i knew that i was getting thinner but i didn't mark it as a sign. I also sweat at night, but i thought it was just because of the weather. but fortunately, just 3 months. not a year. or more. yeah, whatever.
I write it here not to make you guys running away from me. I just want to share, and i hope you guys wont infected, or you guys could notice it earlier. here's some note from me:
1. Smoking doesn't cause TBC, it breaks you lungs' working systems, so viruses could easily get into your body defense. smoking makes your lungs weak, but it doesn't cause a TBC, instantly.
2. if you lose your weight, like 4kgs just in 2 weeks, you better check on it.

doain gue sembuh ya, gue ga boleh olahraga 3 bulan nih. siap-siap ngeliat foto gue gendut2 entar.